How To Become More Responsible
This week, let’s talk about something we all do at times—but rarely admit: avoiding responsibility.
It can show up quietly: procrastination, blame, excuses, minimization, and overexplaining. We avoid responsibility not because we’re lazy or incapable but because we associate it with pressure, failure, or judgment. Somewhere along the line, we learned that taking ownership meant opening ourselves up to blame—or never being allowed to rest.
What if responsibility wasn’t something to fear? What if it’s one of the most empowering things you can claim? Taking responsibility doesn’t mean doing everything alone. It means choosing to own your influence, your choices, and your future. Here's how to begin making that shift.
Step 1: Get honest about what you're avoiding
Responsibility avoidance usually comes with a story: “I’ll deal with it later.” “It’s not my fault.” “This is too much.” These thoughts are protective—they’re trying to shield you from stress, disappointment, or discomfort. But in the process, they also block your growth. The first step is to notice where you're deflecting, denying, or delaying what needs your attention.
Pro Tip: Ask yourself: Where in my life am I waiting for someone else to take the lead? That’s a powerful place to pause. You don’t need to leap into action. You just need to admit, this is mine to own. And from that place, even the smallest next step becomes a move toward possibility.
Step 2: Redefine what responsibility really means
We often confuse responsibility with blame, or assume it means taking on more. But responsibility is about agency. It means you get to decide how to respond, lead, and what comes next. Everything changes when you shift your view of responsibility from pressure to power. You stop reacting and start creating.
Pro Tip: Try this reframing exercise: Every time you catch yourself thinking, “I have to,” switch it to “I get to.” For example, “I have to deal with this conflict” becomes “I get to take ownership of my communication.” It’s a subtle shift, but one that helps you lead from clarity instead of resentment.
Step 3: Commit to micro-responsibility, not perfection
Many people avoid responsibility because they think it requires them to get everything right. But real responsibility isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about showing up consistently in small, steady ways, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed. That’s where integrity is built. That’s where trust (especially with yourself) starts to grow.
Pro Tip: Choose one small area of your life where you’ve been avoiding ownership—just one. Then, take one step this week to move toward it. It could be following through on something, initiating a conversation, or even creating a new boundary. Each time you choose to take responsibility for even a little thing, you build the muscle to handle much more.
If you’ve been avoiding something lately, know that you’re not weak or broken. You’re human. And this moment is your invitation to show up for yourself differently.