How To Become Resilient
I want to talk about resilience—not as a buzzword, but as a way of being.
Resilience isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s not about powering through or ignoring the hard stuff. Real resilience is about facing what’s difficult, processing it with honesty, and choosing to move forward anyway. It’s about getting knocked down and saying, “This isn’t the end of my story.” And the best part? It’s not necessarily something you’re born with. It’s something you can build.
There have been moments in my life that tested me—times I wasn’t sure I’d get through, times I questioned everything. But looking back, those were also the moments that revealed my strength. If you're in a season that feels heavy or uncertain, know this: resilience lives in you, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.
Here’s how to start strengthening it.
Step 1: Name what you’re carrying
You can’t bounce back from what you refuse to acknowledge. The first step to becoming resilient is being radically honest about what’s weighing you down. So many of us try to suppress our emotions because we’re afraid they’ll slow us down, but the avoidance drains us, not the feelings themselves. Give yourself permission to admit what’s hard. Say it out loud. Write it down. Own your reality so you can begin to shift it.
Pro Tip: Ask yourself, What am I pretending isn’t a big deal? That’s often the place where resilience is needed most. Once you identify what you’ve been carrying, moving through it with clarity and strength becomes easier, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.
Step 2: Redefine what strength looks like
We often think strength means being unaffected, unshaken, always composed. But true strength looks like feeling everything and showing up anyway. It’s about bending without breaking, crying without quitting, and finding meaning even in pain. Resilient people don’t ignore their emotions—they integrate them. They use what they’ve been through to grow deeper roots.
Pro Tip: Replace the question “How do I stay strong?” with “How do I stay real and still move forward?” That shift allows you to access resilience from a grounded place, not a performative one. The more honest you are with yourself, the stronger you actually become.
Step 3: Focus on one next step—not the entire mountain
When life feels overwhelming, resilience isn’t found by trying to fix everything all at once. It’s built in the small, intentional choices you make each day. Instead of obsessing over the outcome or needing the full picture, ask yourself: What’s the next right step I can take today? Progress is made in motion, not in having it all figured out.
Pro Tip: Write down one thing you can control right now. It might be how you speak to yourself, how you start your day, or who you ask for support. Then, take that action, no matter how small. Resilience is built one choice at a time, and those small steps compound into real transformation.
If you're feeling stretched, tested, or tired right now, know you’re not alone. And this version of you, the one still trying? That’s already resilient.